The Real Fourth Edition Playtesting Sessions, part one

[OURUlz]

June 28, Thursday night, Wizards Conference Room
Campaign Arc: Castle Greedothorn
DM: Chuck Chuckerson
Playtesters: Bif Tubbyfield, Jace jerkykin, Three "Yes Nerds" from Shipping, and Heather, the Lawful Evil Hasbro succubus project overseer.

Before we begin play Heather is telling us that we need to rethink t one of Bif's characters abilities that grants the rest of us a blanket + 2 to saves. " So, what's the problem? I say as I boot up my laptop and look over my encounter cards."
" Well, We want players to be successful at least 92.3 % of the time so I ways thinking: how about + 5 to saves?"
I want to look at this gorgeous blonde and call her an idiot but I can't. She's dressed to go clubbing after the Playtest and she's got a sorta-school girl thing going on with pony tails and a skirt and heels. Very sexy, yet very evil. She looks like an older, Cougar version of Jessica Simpson only with a bigger nose. But heck, who's gonna look at her nose when she has her "Minions" on display like that. I wonder if they're real? . . I catch my self staring and then somehow snap out of it.
" Heather, I just don't think that will work. These are 1st level characters and the whole point of the game is to get more powerful gradually. That's the fun of it."
Heather shifts forward in her chair and looks at a legal pad that has lines and lines of infernal bureaucratic scrawling on it. From this angle, I'm getting an all too close look at the "Minions " almost falling under their evil hypnotic sway once again.
Heather says, "Bif, what do you think about this save issue?"
Bif is totally entranced by heather. Only a Dispel Horniness could save him now. "Uh, jeez Heather I was gonna suggest maybe a +10 bonus to Saves."
Heather says, "You Think, Bif?"
"Oh, sure Heather. I've got loads of game design experience. Have you ever heard of Pokemon Monopoly?" Bif says this while running his hands through his hair and straightening up his comb over. "
"Why no ,Bif I've never heard of it." She smiles and leans over, putting the "Minions" in attack posture. "Maybe we can have some coffee sometime and you could tell me all about it . " She turns to me and frowns and say's "I'm going to go along with Bif. We should give Bif's character the ability to grant +10 to all saves whenever he wants. We can change his class name to the "Savemaster." It will be a good edition to the Warlord and the Warlock."
I look at her and want to tell her to go back to the Nine Hells where she came from, but I can't. She's been going out to lunch alot with my department director and she's won him over, and now she's charmed Bif. I don't have a choice and I'm powerless. This must have been what it felt like on the Titanic when they ran out of life boats.
"Okay, so we got a new class whose group role is to help every one pass their saves, is that right?"
Heather smiles and says, " Sounds good to me. " She looks at her watch and says, "oops, I'm late and have to go. You boys have fun playing with your dice now. . ."

To be continued. ...

[CharlieRock]

heh, minions ...

[Warduke]

gotta confess i laughed when i read that.

[goodmangames]

Yeah, that was pretty funny.

[PeelSeel2]

I like minions. I like the idea of having hoards of these at the gaming table. Gotta battle with the minions

[CharlieRock]

I like minions. I like the idea of having hoards of these at the gaming table. Gotta battle with the minions

And don't forget the retainers. Minions need to be retained and all.