Revenge of the Sith

mythfish · Post by **mythfish** » Thu May 19, 2005 12:35 pm

[Or, "My Life as a Star Wars Fan"]

As a child, you had a friend and mentor who would invite you over every so often and fix you a delicious banquet of tender, juicy turkey, potatoes mashed and spiced to perfection, homemade stuffing, corn, and beans, smothered in a delicious gravy. You drank water, clean and crystal clear, and for dessert you had a warm pumpkin pie topped with whipped cream. You loved your friend and his magical house, and his meals, though infrequent, were things you cherished and spoke of for years. Eventually, though, your friend left town as friends often do.

Others tried to fill the hole your friend left. Someone would make you mashed potatoes, and they were okay. Another person made decent pumpkin pie. A few people tried to feed you vegetables out of a can. It wasn't the same, of course, but you made do. The memories of the meals your old friend made for you were enough to sustain you.

One day many years later your friend sent you a letter telling you he was coming back to town and he wanted to make you another of his fabulous meals! Very excited, you made plans to celebrate his return, and salivated in anticipation of another of his meals. When you got to his house, you found it to be bigger and shinier than ever, promising a meal of epic proportions! Your friend smiled as you entered, and then proceeded to feed you buckets upon buckets of his own feces. You gag, you vomit, but you keep forcing it down because this is your friend and he knows how to make a meal! You eat your friend's dung and begin to realize that maybe he isn't really your friend after all. With sh*t smeared all over your face and down the front of your shirt, you manage to say, "I hate you! Why are you doing this?"

Your friend smiles at you and replies, "This is the meal I really wanted to make all those years ago." Then he hands you a turkey sandwich, and you are relieved. As you get to the very last bite, he puts a bit of gravy on it. You put the last piece in your mouth, and begin sobbing...not out of relief and happiness, not out of sadness or anger, but simply because in that little bit of gravy lies the powerful memories of all the happiness your friend once gave you and the knowledge that he will never give it to you again.

Ken Hart · Post by **Ken Hart** » Thu May 19, 2005 1:24 pm

Wow... I'm hungry. Nicely done!

Early reviews have me hoping that George Lucas is finally giving me a six-pack of Guinness after six years of offering nothing but empty cans of Meister Brau.

mythfish · Post by **mythfish** » Thu May 19, 2005 4:49 pm

Nope, it's a turkey sandwich. Or on your scale, it's maybe a bottle of Leinenkugel's.

MagusRogue · Post by **MagusRogue** » Fri May 20, 2005 10:11 am

Eh, all I have to say is, while it still doesn't match the awesomeness of the originals, you HAVE to realize that these AREN'T the originals. These are a different story, leading to the originals. And Episode III is... well... simply fantastic. It's not AS good as the originals, but at the same time, it was simply awesome. The battles were stunning and actually lasted now, George VERY neatly tied up the loose ends (though it was kinda keep just to mindwipe 3P0.....), and... hearing Vader's first wheezing breath sent such chills up and down my spine...

It's like pork spare ribs versus baby-back. Many prefer baby-backs, but at the same time, spare ribs are just as good, only in their own way... Two different things, but both are excellent.

though episode I still sucks in my opinion, and that'll never change. *Grins*

mythfish · Post by **mythfish** » Fri May 20, 2005 7:12 pm

The action wasn't bad. There was a lot of it, but none of it matched the intensity or sheer coolness of the duel with Darth Maul in Ep I. After watching General Grievous kick serious booty in the Clone Wars cartoon, he was very disappointing in the movie, as was Yoda. The dialog and the acting was still god-awful, with the only exceptions being Ian McDiarmid (throughout the movie) and Ewan McGregor (in the fighting Anakin scene). Lucas can't write a love scene to save his life...I've seen more passion on greeting cards.

Yeah, I know the prequels are different movies. That doesn't mean they have to be crappy movies. Episode III wasn't all bad, though. Like I said, it was a turkey sandwich after a meal of feces.

MagusRogue · Post by **MagusRogue** » Fri May 20, 2005 9:19 pm

You also remember that at the end of the Clone Wars cartoon Grievious was seriously wounded (by Windu, wasn't it?). Why you think he was limping and hunched over, coughing all the time? Remember Obi Wan's (or was it Anakin's) comment "I thought you were taller". Obi Wan got lucky in the fight. Grevious couldn't fight all-out because he was already pretty badly hurt to begin with. Besides, the action in the cartoons was off the wall. Remember some of the other jedi fights?

and hey, I like turkey. *grins*

mythfish · Post by **mythfish** » Sat May 21, 2005 8:47 am

MagusRogue wrote:You also remember that at the end of the Clone Wars cartoon Grievious was seriously wounded (by Windu, wasn't it?). Why you think he was limping and hunched over, coughing all the time? Remember Obi Wan's (or was it Anakin's) comment "I thought you were taller". Obi Wan got lucky in the fight. Grevious couldn't fight all-out because he was already pretty badly hurt to begin with.

Ah, I've only seen the stuff on the DVD and a couple episodes beyond that at Star Wars.com. If Windu injured Greivous that would explain it some.

MagusRogue · Post by **MagusRogue** » Sat May 21, 2005 9:53 am

yeah, when grevious was running off with Palpatine in a ship, just before I do believe it was Windu that did a Force Strike and blew half of the cyborg's chest apart. Grevious went flying back, then started coughing and limped off as the ship flew away. That's also why his chest looks half-finished in the movie, instead of as big and buff as in the cartoon. Windu damn near killed him.