The Crawler's Guide to the Garweeze Wurld

[Galadrin]

I was sad to see Jolly Blackburn's "Garweeze Wurld" setting go the way of the Dodo with the latest version of HackMaster. It is easily one of my favorite settings, and has just enough humour to be entertaining to read and campaign in. For those who are not familiar with it, it is essentially the HackMaster take on Greyhawk, developed from Jolly's home games. Due to the similarities between HackMaster and Dungeon Crawl Classics, I'd like to run in again in the future using DCC, so I wrote up the following "Crawler's Guide" (in the long and proud lineage of "Hacker's Guides") to cover the different races. It is, of course, somewhat my own take on these species, and doesn't necessarily reflect Garweeze canon perfectly. Let me know what you think!

Gnome Spartans
Militaristic Gnomes in kilts, Gnome Spartans spend their days on top frozen mountain peaks, practicing military drills and playing their fearsome war-bagpipes. Gnome Spartans are clean shaven, to distinguish themselves from their distant cousin Dwarves, whom they see as conventional and hidebound. Their greatest enemies are Hobgoblins, who they see as their tactical counterparts, although Gnome Spartans are known for making foes of any neighboring realms (and even within their own clans). While adventuring to restore some honour to their house, Gnome Spartans fights as their Dwarvish cousins, and can employ their signature "Groinstomp" tactic (as per "Sword and Board," only without a shield and only against prone targets).

Gnomelings
These cheery gourmands are the strange crossbreed of Halflings and Gnomes. Unable to have offspring themselves, they sate themselves on sumptious food and drink, and are more voracious eaters then either of their parent races. Gnomelings are typically gregarious, and find easy company with nearly any race. They are particularly favoured by giants, who consider them a rich, if fatty, delicacy. Gnomelings travelling to see (and taste) the wonders of the world have all the capabilities of their halfling progenitors.

Gnomes
Viscious and self-serving, Gnomes tend to live alone and have no known societal structure. When encountered by a lost and hapless adventurer in the wild, their diminutive size and innocent, child-like appearance can be cruelly deceptive, as Gnomes are innately able to conjur powerful sorcery to prey on their victims. When travelling abroad for sinister and mysterious reasons, Gnomes tend to stay close to those that can protect them, although they are as capable as wizards.

Dark Elves
After the Great Collapse, Dark Elves were shunned and driven deep into the earth. Feared and hated for their depressing and fatalistic worldviews, those who brave their company quickly succumb to melancholy and hopelessness, and soon adopt their signature eyeshadow, duct-tape armbands and nose rings. Also known as "Drow," they are gloomy and hateful, and wander the surface world only to spread their philosophy. Even scholars who pen their history fall into dismay, which suits the Dark Elves fine, as nothing really matters anyway. I mean, what's the point? It's not like... whatever.

Grunge Elves
Grunge Elves, or "Grel," are much like to their cousin Elves, only with more 'tude. Barbaric anarchists, Grunge Elves have abandoned the cultured ways of their predecessors and live in unruly and impermanent societies in harsh natural environs. If Drow were the cause of the Great Collapse, Grel are the product, having sundered their relations with other Elves and taken to savage nihilism. Occasionally a Grunge Elf does emerge from the wilderness, half crazed off strange mushrooms, to loiter in civilized lands, inciting chaos and disorder wherever he rests his head.

Half-Orc
Wild yahoos, Half-Orcs are notoriously destructive and disruptive rednecks that live to fight. Their rude, boorish and surly nature has seen them pushed to the very frontier of society, where they live in isolated rural hovels scattered across wild hills. When not fighting each other, Half-Orcs take to roaming the land, looking for a good scrap. They fight as well as Dwarves, and can make an additional "headbutt" attack each round (as per "Sword and Board," only without a shield). They can also intimidate their opponents once per battle, giving them a -1 Morale for that round.

Half-Ogre
Downtrodden slaves to other races, Half-Ogres are part human and part ogre. Not all half-ogres prove to be so domesticated, however, and those few that escape their bonds (often by devouring their masters) find a life of roaming to be far preferable to menial labour, even if they never quite escape a deeply ingrained slave complex. Freed Half-Ogres are as capable as dwarves, but lack their special abilities, and instead have a d16 Hit Dice and the ability to easily wield a two-handed weapon in one hand. They are slow and dimwitted, however, and always roll a d16 for initiative. Their ability scores are relative to their race, and their die may increase or decrease when faced with human-sized challenges.

Pixie-Fairy
Originating from a single hidden and enchanted forest, Pixie-Fairies flitter out across the countryside, gripped by wanderlust and naieve curiosity (returning only for a rather repulsive annual "molting"). These reincarnating vagabonds are considered good omens by all, at least until their annoying squeeking and cloying optimism eventually sees them yet again driven off from polite society. While on their childish quests, Pixie-Fairies have the ability of halflings, apart from a D4 hit die, miniature weapons (d4 damage) and the abilities to fly and turn invisible (1/day) (while older Pixie-Faeries, or other breeds of Pixies, are rumoured to have other powers). Pixie-Fairy's are diminutive and nimble, and their ability scores are relative to their size. Human-scale physical challenges may increase or decrease their die.

[tovokas]

Fun stuff. I love the dark elves.